I think we can all agree that lockdown is draining now, as we approach almost one year of living through such uncertainty, I know I'm not the only one facing obstacle after obstacle and setback after setback. But ever the optimist, I am learning how fucking resilient I can be. One of my favourite songs 'Who We Are' by Welshly Arms lyrics go "let's start a fire,
let's pull this trigger, 'cause all these bruises, make our skin thicker". I just love that line because it's so true, all the hurdles life has ever thrown is what has enabled me to just get back up, continue lighting fires, working hard and progressing in other areas. That being said, I miss Olivia adventures a lot.
I shared poem by Rumi on my Instagram that I'd come across in a similar vein which goes like this:
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
I love this because like so many others, my life has changed direction a lot due to all this change. However as we now approach the denouement of this unwelcome play, I can see that the changes have elevated my life in many ways. Like some friends who read my blog, I live alone. If you'd asked me before all this whether I could survive without human contact for weeks living alone in my apartment I'd have felt anxious at the very thought. I am a highly social and sensual person, I crave other people, I love holding hands, I love laughter, conversations, cuddles, sleeping next to one another, the simple act of touching someone, but actually I am learning to love my own company. I can't wait to have a romantic evening again though, so as much as I can grin and bear this social isolation I also can't wait for it to be over.
One thing I have been indulging in is self-massage - that's not what I meant - although admittedly yes, I have been indulging lots more in that type of self-massage, but this is news to no-one. But something I have rediscovered is the ritual of putting on on some good music and oiling my whole body in delicious scented oil. This is not something new, I have always loved oiling my body because it makes my skin obscenely soft and silky, but unless I was with a lover I wouldn't indulge in the process of massaging myself and them. Do you know one of my favourite date activities is to give each other a full-body oily massage. Two oils I recommend are The Ritual of Jing Dry oil, (I use this one a lot) and newly discovered (and kindly gifted) Molton Brown's Fiery Pink Pepper massage oil which is what I used this evening.
As my autumn/winter playlist is getting lots of listens I decided to make a self-massage-specific playlist. I love and overplay every single song on this playlist, so if we've met you likely recognise them, and if not you'll likely still enjoy some of these epic throwbacks.
So I encourage you to have a long luxurious bath or shower, then cover yourself in delicious oil while you enjoy the following playlist, until we can oil each other instead.