What dominance means to me



I entered sex work out of a desire for adventure rather than out of financial need. Of course, the money is phenomenal and a fundamental element but not the only element. This route meant that I always had my own needs and desires in mind. I was looking to build an alternative universe I could step into with no consequences. I could admit and fulfil my sexual desires without intimidating a monogamous partner or shocking my normal friends. In the real world I can’t think of when I’d have got the opportunity to parade around in £2,000 worth of latex, go to a sex party in Berlin with three hot escorts or stay in a former-brothel-turned-luxury-hotel in Paris with an incredibly generous client.


From my personal experience, being a sex worker puts you at complete control of the situation. You need to go in with a level of confidence and a ‘don’t fuck with me vibe’ which sets the tone. This has to be carefully crafted so not to scare or intimidate the lovely married man looking to confide in you for a few hours, but enough to let the cocky multi-millionaire know that he won’t get away with pushing any of your boundaries.


Having a new name helps with this when you’re a baby heaux, because you’re not being yourself, you’re being ‘Olivia’. And, although you might never want to upset or offend, Olivia takes no messing around, certainly not from a new client. Olivia will confidently sit there and count out the cash in front of you before scouring the room for hidden cameras. If she finds a problem, she leaves, sucks to be you.


Having to be this assertive but still sexually available is instantly arousing to me. I have always been naturally dominant but, the word dominant – just like the word love – has so many connotations and meanings it almost needs to have sub words underneath it.

When I think of how porn sites categorise sexual dominance it’s broadly in one of two ways. One: a male or group of males using a submissive woman for their own pleasure, usually in a humiliating or degrading fashion and without any effort towards her sexual pleasure or orgasm.

Or, two: a woman or group of women degrading a man verbally while still focusing on his physical pleasure, perh